Spring Has Sprung!

     I woke up this morning to birds chirping through my open window.  Just another sign that Spring has arrived.  If you're anything like me, Winter is just not your season.  While it's novel at first with being able to cozy up to the fire and wear your comfy, well-worn sweats, after awhile you yearn for the warmth that comes in Spring.  Buds on the trees and flowering bulbs definitely have a way of cheering me up and giving me new life.  I can get back to walking outside so I can soak in the sights and sounds of nature coming alive.  The only downside to Spring for me is the rain.  While I realize that it is essential for refilling our lakes and rivers as well as hydrating the plants and wildlife, I absolutely prefer the sun.  If I wake up in the morning with the sun shining into my bedroom, I start out the day in a happy mood.  The Vitamin D is well known for that effect as well as preventing disease, lowering blood pressure and improving our overall mental health.  

    I think we all flip the mental switch into Spring-mode at Daylight Savings Time, which is about a week before Spring officially arrives.  Unfortunately, during this Spring-forward, we lose a precious hour of sleep.  It doesn't seem like a big deal but it definitely throws off the circadian rhythm in our bodies.  However, the extra hour of daylight, once recovered, is well worth it since we get to enjoy the longer days.

    This time of year is not only an awakening of our hibernating plants and animals but also a time for us to wake up and take stock of how our year has progressed and where we are with the goals we set.  How can we take advantage of this "fresh start" and make the best out of the months to come?  Letting in some fresh air, along with grabbing your favorite pen, a journal and a cup of coffee, get comfortable and allow yourself some time to reflect.  I actually like to go outside onto my covered patio and curl up on our cozy sofa.  I recommend scheduling some uninterrupted time in your calendar where you can relax and contemplate what you still want and need to accomplish this year before the busyness of Summer kicks in.  

    I find it helpful to organize my "To Do"s into categories.  For me, first comes the External, which are basically things that aren't personal to just me but pertain to my family and/or our home.  I don't know about you but watching The Home Edit on Netflix has really inspired me to clean out and get organized.  What they say is true...a cluttered space results in a cluttered mind.  Just looking at the unnecessary piles and stuffed cabinets and drawers can increase our stress levels and decrease our feelings of control.  Plus, it just puts me in a bad mood when inevitably, the thing you really need (that you KNOW you already own) cannot be found and you end up wasting money by repurchasing it.   There is also a very freeing feeling when you clean out items that you've unnecessarily kept, as it opens up valuable space for sentimental items or things that bring a smile to your face.  This reminds me of Marie Kondo and her method of picking up each item and really considering whether it brings you joy.  About two years ago, when her show came out on Netflix, I decided to tackle my clothes.  I went around my entire house, as she suggests, and gathered every article of clothing that I owned.  After doing that, I was faced with a mountain of clothes of all kinds on my bed and the surrounding area since that didn't even hold it all!  At first I thought it was silly, but that method REALLY works.  It made me realize that, while keeping some practical things that I didn't "love" was okay, I was holding onto things that actually brought out negative emotions in me.  Was I really going to wear those low jeans that were all the style 5+ years ago?  Did I enjoy wearing that bland/boring shirt that did nothing to flatter me?  No to both.  I realized that I could say "thank you" to these things for serving me and let them go to someone who would wear them and bring joy to their life.  

    After clearing out what we don't want and organizing what we do, it's then time to do some actual, physical Spring cleaning.  I like to break this down into bite-sized chunks by making a list of what needs to be done and going through room by room.  Cleaning is by far my least favorite task, which means I avoid the deep clean even more and it never gets done.  I've come to realize that not doing it is causing me more harm than good.  Similar to clutter, dirt that accumulates in the corners of our homes, underneath the couches we don't normally move and the curtains that we overlook has a tendency to also tarnish how we feel about ourselves.  It is important to honor and respect our homes by keeping them clean.  I think it also helps to remember how fortunate we are to have a home to clean when so many do not.  And don't forget...once you've tackled the inside, there is the outside of your home to consider. After all, most people only see the outside so we want to represent ourselves well for our community. 

    Second comes the Internal, which I consider my personal goals, aspirations and dreams.  For example, this blog was my primary goal this year, which was a carryover goal from 2020.  To be honest, I spent a lot of last year in analysis paralysis as well as pandemic shock.  Pandemic shock is what I'm defining as being stopped in your tracks.  The world was revolving as it should in what everyone had considered as their "normal".  Then, suddenly, the rug was pulled out from under us and all those things we'd taken for granted, what we'd considered our freedom, were gone.  It made us stop and question everything.  Not to mention, its impact on every aspect of our life.  I was fortunately allowed to continue to work from home but meanwhile, I had many friends who are self-employed that no longer had work or owned businesses that were forced to close or open at a significantly reduced capacity.  I am also close to a lot of people that made some, if not all, of their money in the entertainment/music industry, which came to a screeching halt.  As a true music lover, I was angry that I could no longer go to concerts or see live music.  Even today, I can't get up and dance like I used to...free and unencumbered from a mask, as we currently must still wear one while dancing by your chair, at your table.  Now is the time to look forward by thinking about where we are with our physical health, our mental/emotional well-being, our relationships, our faith and spirituality and last but not least, the dreams on our hearts.  

    Depending upon where you live, restrictions currently seem to be lifting across the country.  We are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and are hopeful that we can finally come out of our cocoon, spread our butterfly wings and fly free.  We are lightened by our sense of hope that we can return to spontaneously hugging our friends and family,  dancing full-out and social gatherings to celebrate life.  So as Spring arrives, take that hope outside and enjoy those longer, light-filled days with walks in nature, cooking on the grill with your favorite adult beverage or even just sitting in a quiet space with your favorite book.  Because before we know it, we'll all be complaining it's too hot and want to run inside to the cool respite of our air conditioning.  

    Now, it's your turn to share how you Spring-clean!

The Big 5-0

    Well, it happened.  I turned 50 on March 5th.  50!!!!  How on Earth did that happen?  Now, 5 has always been my favorite number but reaching the half century mark is a bit daunting.  

    I actually woke up that day feeling grateful.  Can you imagine?  However, if the last year taught us anything, it certainly made us realize how fragile life can be and not to take any of our time here for granted.  Who knew a pandemic would hit in 2020 and result in so many deaths, hospitalizations and even significant ongoing medical conditions in some?  Not to mention, as we age, really anything can happen and we can be here one day and gone the next.  Okay, that's a bit morbid, but truly why I felt grateful to reach my 50th birthday.  

    Not to mention, it made me reflect on how far I've come in all these years.  My proudest accomplishment by far is my son, who will be 17 in June.  I was fortunate to have parents that instilled respect, manners and responsibility in me so that I could pass that on to Cameron.  I have gone even further by raising him to be a gentleman and do the little things like opening doors, carrying bags and basically being helpful without expecting something in return.  He is a very accepting, intelligent, sensitive, empathetic and caring person, which makes me very proud.  

    This leads me to my husband.  Until I met him in 2016, I truly wondered if I would ever find my forever.  But I did, and although the road has had quite a few bumps, I finally found the perfect guy for me.  We love each other equally, which can be rare, have tons of fun and do the work when needed.  Our biggest challenge was (and still is) blending our families together.  There is a very different dynamic to being a mom versus a stepmom, particularly when the mother is still in their life.  Being their stepmom has made me very happy and added so much to me and my son's life.  It gives me such joy that he and the girls hit it off right away and continue to laugh and have so much fun together.  I'd never wanted Cameron to be an only child, so giving him a sibling experience is very gratifying to me.  Ironically when I was growing up, I always pictured having 3 kids.  

    I am blessed to have "fallen into" a career that has provided great benefits and incredible success and financial security.  I enjoy helping others and I'm grateful that I get to do that every day. I have also been very fortunate to have worked for the same insurance company for almost 25 years.  They make smart financial decisions and have not faltered throughout many times of financial upheaval.  I was very lucky to have that financial stability in 2020.

    It would be easy for me to feel as though I haven't accomplished what I wanted to by now.  Thanks to mentors and those I look up to, I've come to realize that things come in their own time.  For me, I believe that my life experience will lead me to reaching my goals in a richer and far more rewarding way.  

    Lessons I've learned along the way:

•     Life is too short to be unhappy.  Making decisions to leave a situation or relationship that no longer serves you is HARD.  Emotionally, financially and even physically.  But, I think you have to really consider what damage you are doing to yourself by staying and NOT making a change.  Are you your best self or do you feel held back from growth or opportunities?  Do you feel loved or like a piece of the furniture just "there"?  A sister lesson to this is Do NOT stay for the kids.  This is obviously a very personal decision but I've seen more harm than good come from having kids grow up in an environment that doesn't model a healthy relationship.  Kids are very intelligent and observant so they are not being fooled if you are not happy.  This also applies to a job environment that doesn't allow you to develop and live up to your fullest potential.
•     Everyone should spend some time alone.  I learned so much from being single, living by myself and becoming independent in managing a household.  While, ideally, this should have occurred earlier in life, this did not happen for me until my mid-30s.  Prior to that, I'd gone from my parents' house to one serious relationship after another.  Although I "thought" I knew who I was, I really didn't understand what mattered most to me as a person or what I needed out of a relationship until I was truly alone for some years. It's a freeing feeling to have that alone time to reflect on what mistakes you've made, learn how to avoid them and also discover what makes you, and you alone, happy.  It's very natural for others to influence you and dictate what you like and don't like.  Practically, you also learn how to manage your own finances and address repair and maintenance of your home.
•     It is never too late.  2021 is a pretty amazing and incredible time.  We have been forced, by a global pandemic, to reassess what is valuable to us.  It's given everyone an opportunity to sit back and reflect on where we are in life and proven that the technology and information is out there to learn and do anything we wish.  I am a prime example.  In having that time, especially at the end of 2020, I realized that there was no time like the present to contribute to the world and help others.  
•      GET OFF THE SCALE.  Sadly, many of us have grown up inundated with images and propaganda that tells us we need to look like supermodels or the actors we see on tv and in movies.  Years ago, we didn't know about airbrushing and the team of people behind the scenes responsible for the final result that we saw in the magazine or on screen.  We're also told by varying sources about what a healthy weight is, but doesn't take into consideration that we are all unique.  No two people are alike in height, weight, bone density, water retention or hormones.  We are not taught to be happy and healthy but to be thin and appeal to others.  It is only in the last couple of years that I've seen a shift from that perspective to acceptance, mental health and body love.  Your weight does not define you!
•       Be grateful and gracious.  For the last few years, I've started my day with a gratitude practice.  I list five things I'm grateful for, which should not be general like "I have a family".  While that's wonderful, the intent is to drill down on that and be more specific. So, you could write down "we all got to sit down to a family dinner" or "we were able to watch a movie as a family".  I really enjoy warm and sunny weather so this morning, I wrote down "It's going to be 72 degrees today so I can take a nice walk."  Basically, what is saving your life, even on the roughest days, when you really have to think hard to find five things?  As for being gracious, this is something that I've worked hard on over the last year or so. We are all so hard on ourselves and are our toughest critics sometimes.  You hear "would you talk to your best friend the way you're talking to yourself?"  We should spend more time lifting ourselves up than berating ourselves for not doing something we should've done or not doing it to perfection.  For example, we're just not feeling that workout today.  That's okay...maybe you do something like stretch or foam roll or even dance around the room to your favorite song!  It's still movement and it should make you feel good.  If your body is sore, take that rest day.  If you are eating healthy and really want a cookie, have the cookie!  Maybe just try not to eat the whole bag.  Okay, but if you do, be graceful with yourself.  It's one bag & the next choice you make can be a better one.  We are all human.  No less important is being graceful with others.  Everyone can have a bad day and say things they don't mean.  Unless the intention was truly to hurt you, be graceful and forgive.  Forgiveness is very healing for all parties and will stop resentment from brewing.  
•       Take time for fun.  Especially when you are knee deep in your chosen career, working full-time (or more), and have a family, time is a valuable commodity.  Another lesson from the pandemic is to not take anything for granted.  Go on that vacation, spend time with your friends, do that art project, run that marathon, learn to crochet a blanket, get a dog, make a playlist of songs that will instantly put a smile on your face and most of all, laugh until your cheeks hurt.  Humor, love and happiness are what provides the richness to this life we are all so blessed to live.

I hope these lessons have provided some insight. Let me know if you decide to make any changes!