This has been quite a week. I wrote a blog post about two months ago regarding someone who changed my life. There's nothing quite like the feeling that the solid ground beneath your feet is now shifting and you can no longer maintain your balance. To say, I was "shook" would be an understatement. While you can certainly read that post and Google recent events, the details are not the point of what I want to share with you.
In this day and age of influencers and personal development gurus, it's more than easy to believe what you see and read. After all, they show you want they want you to see. It's no different from any of us editing a photo or putting a filter on our Instagram story. Anyone can craft a persona that can seem appealing and relatable in order to gain followers and build their business. Authenticity is the real issue. Unless you know someone in real life (IRL for the younger generation), it's hard to know the real person behind what they present. As such, we are drawn to some of these people since we feel like we really "know" them, like they are one of us. This is not to say they are or aren't...just that you can't really be sure.
I am not writing this to retract all the positive ways in which my life has changed, the knowledge I've gained (a lot of it free) or the skills I've acquired from this person. Honestly, they're too innumerable to list here. I am also not going to speak negatively about her. First of all, I do not believe in bringing judgement against someone. That's up to God and/or the courts if someone commits a crime. I also believe that we can never know what another person is going through. I am a strong believer in grace and forgiveness, as well as in digging deep to grow and do better.
The lesson learned through all of this is to be the hero of my own story. Subconsciously, I have placed certain people on a pulpit. They didn't ask to be put there certainly, but they inevitably ended up there anyway. We seem to have forgotten that we are all created equal even if we don't feel that way. We naturally seek others to look up to, guide us and emulate when we don't know the way. We want to follow their path and mirror those who have succeeded where we have not yet. We get hung up on the minutiae of their morning, evening and fitness routines as well as what makeup and clothes they wear. I am so guilty of this behavior.
There is certainly much to learn and value to gain from others. I love to learn from anyone and everyone. Whether it's personal development and self care, relationship/family advice, religion, or career growth, I am hungry for knowledge. I also desire to increase my understanding of the struggles I've had the privilege to not even give a second thought. After all, you don't know what you don't know, right? Until you do, that is.
Certainly, this last year has been eye-opening, scary and even wonderful in a lot of ways. Some of us have seen things we didn't know was still happening in the world in 2020. Appalling images and acts. A world in upheaval, all while dealing with a global pandemic. It made me sit back and think...and cry. In case you're wondering, I am an empath. For those who've never heard of that term, it loosely means that we are deeply sensitive and can sense what others are feeling. We tend to actually take on the pain of others. I believe I've always been this way but this came more sharply into focus after I had my son almost 17 years ago. I became sensitive to the point that I could not watch anything relating to harm of a pet or child. Any time someone is down or wronged, I get sad almost to the point of having to back away from it for awhile.
Stepping away to reflect is understandable and even necessary but it all comes back to doing the work to educate yourself and make the world a better place, leaving it better than we found it. A vast amount of resources are at our disposal, either online or through movies, podcasts and books. It's up to us to decide to do better and be better. Let's envision a world that we are proud to live in. One of love, acceptance, equality, peace and community. Let's lift others up regardless of skin color, perceived disability, religious beliefs or sexual orientation/identification. One where no one is on a pulpit and we are all standing together on the same stage, cheering each other on and taking a united bow for our successes. For one cannot be successful if we step on anyone to get there.
So, let's show up for each other, build our communities and be the hero of our own story. I'd love to hear how you are the hero of your own story!
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